Welcome, I'm Cricket Casper. I'm the Director of Schools for CASE. We're delighted you joined us today. And it's my pleasure to get to introduce David Smith, who will be running today's workshop. So David started his career as an educator, like many of us did, and he became an advancement leader in 2008. And he's also an esteemed member of our Schools and Advancement Institute faculty. So we're delighted he could join us today. And I know he has great things planned and that you'll get to enjoy that, but I'll let David take things from here. Thank you for being here, David. Thank you. And thanks everybody for joining. I know it's lunchtime for some of you, it's in the morning for others of you. So I appreciate you taking the time and joining into this conversation. What I'd like to do is to try to get a chance for us to kind of level set a bit and to make sure that there's an inclusiveness to this conversation. Because sometimes when we start talking about making the ask and we're at, different institutions feel like they're kind of, and folks in different institutions feel like they're excluded because they're not out personally asking for a $10 million gift. So then they're not part of the conversation. And I wanna make sure that that's not the case. So let's just level set a bit. If you don't mind, I'm going to share screen and show you a little bit. So we're gonna talk about soliciting and closing leadership gifts, making the ask. And this is me and there's some, this is mostly an independent school career. And so I know we have some university folks here and I think that's gonna, we're gonna make sure that there's an opportunity to, again, level set and make sure that this translates in a lot of different directions. It doesn't really matter what your, the work of your particular institution or what level of education you may be the, working in an elementary school, you might be working at a higher education institution. I think it's gonna still be applicable, that's the goal. And part of that is because I just, I just wanna kind of throw out there, people talk about all these different types of giving, leadership gifts and major gifts and anchor gifts, transformational gifts, it's all, it's all kind of the same lane, right? So let's just try to see if we can't think about it from your own perspective. You're gonna have a chance to kind of really personalize some of this work as we get further into it. But I don't want you to think of this as being, that there's the hierarchy of all of this matters. I don't think it really matters. I think in your institution, you might be asking for $10,000 and that's gonna be the biggest ask that you do, or you might be in preparation for a $10 million solicitation of an alum that you've been working on for two years, right? But they're all, the process of a lot of this is still the same. And the fundamentals of this work are still the same. And I think that if we can actually reduce it down, in some cases, at least for this workshop, to the things that go into and come after that one meeting, that one solicitation meeting where you've really got to funnel in the case for support and really help your prospective donor, no matter what the level is, understand what you're trying to do and why this gift is important. And so let's just take a step back and have a little bit of a context for leadership giving. Right, I mean, this is GivingUSA. Americans donated $485 billion in 2021. 70.8 billion of that went to educational institutions, which I believe is still second to religious institutions and pretty high up there. So 96% of those donations from individuals, right? So that's a lot of times when we're talking about making an ask, we're making an ask of an individual to make an affirmative gift to our institution. And a lot of those foundation gifts are also through the conversation with individuals, right? So we're talking about family foundations, we're talking about foundations where you've got a, you have a person, you have a program officer, you have someone who you have a relationship with. It's still the relationship work. And then of course, the quests are, I would say more likely to be part of a plan giving process today where you've had a conversation. And again, so much of this individual leadership level giving are conversations that are, there's an ask meeting involved, which is what we're gonna focus on. Private foundations are, and this is by, we'll do a bit of comparison here. There's 1.3 trillion in assets, private foundations. So think about that, right? So this used to be the, really the only way that somebody might consider themselves a philanthropist, right? They have dollars that they've already, that they are then able to then access that are only for donations, right? You're not asking someone to write a check out of their checking account, right? These are funds that can only be used for charitable giving. And so that's a lot of money and that's a lot of grants. But then we have this new thing, newer thing called donor advised funds, where there's another $234 billion in assets, right? And so the growth of this, right, is tremendous over the last 15 years, 45 billion in grants, right? So if you are considering that now a lot more people have a giving vehicle at their disposal, a lot more Americans consider themselves philanthropists because they have a pool of money that can only be donated to a nonprofit institution, right? That's a big difference. So think about this, from 2017, there were about 471,000 donor advised funds in the country. Now there's close to 1.3, and it's probably over that number now, because I'm looking at the GivingUSA and National Philanthropic Trust numbers that were published from the 2022 reports. So we are now filled with folks in this country who have to give away money. The context for giving is really good right now. And I think I made a quick note there, 23.3% of the assets and donor advised funds were given away in that year. So if you maybe, if you're looking specifically at the distinctions, private foundations have a mandatory amount, percentage that has to be donated. It's actually less than what was given out of percentage-wise donor advised funds. Donor advised funds do not have a mandatory giving threshold, but yet folks were giving even more out of them. So it's important to keep that in mind, right? We're not, people who have donor advised funds and private foundations aren't just hoarding capital. They're putting it to work. So let's be clear and thoughtful about the fact that the context for leadership giving in this country right now is really, really strong. It's a good time to be out asking for gifts, and whether they're $10,000 or $100,000 or $10 million, it's a good time to be out asking. So let's take a look at the relationship cycle really quickly, just to make sure that we're all on the same page. When we're talking about this point today, we're gonna be focused a lot on the solicitation piece, right? But let's think about all that stuff before and after. You might even argue, and I have in the past, that the stewardship part is not really at the end, it's at the beginning, because your last donor is your best next donor. And so if you're thinking about this from the perspective of what you've got in your database or the portfolio that you have or the prospect pipeline that you're working with, you wanna know that they've been thanked, that they've gotten a lot of love from your institution, you've been able to show them the impact of their giving over the years, and then you're in the process, and you're back into that donor cultivation cycle, you're back at the beginning in some cases. But if you are working with your board or team of volunteers, you're trying to identify new prospective donors. The great thing about working at a school or university is that there's always new people. You get new alumni every year. If you work at an independent school in this country, you get new current parents that come in every year, but the most precious thing in the world to them, right? They're dropping off their kid at the front door every day. The identification process is easier for us in the sense that we get a huge number of very high affinity prospects every single year. We get a huge number of new high affinity prospects every single year. What a great industry to be in. And so once you've got your research team on it, and sometimes your research team is you, and I understand that, make sure that you're ready. You've got the feedback that you need from previous interactions and from their experience, and then you wanna make sure you have good data. The cultivation process, right? Sometimes I would say schools, I think in the private school world, maybe the independent school world have spun around on events a little bit too much, but there's certainly a role for them. And of course, if you're working at the university level, you think about all the times in which like alumni are engaged or on campus or connected. And so there's an important place for this, right? And so we wanna make sure that we're not skipping that, right, because the time for people to, the opportunity for people to have face time with the head or with another senior leader or the institution or with one of the deans, right? All that stuff really matters. And I actually just, my husband and I just hosted one this week on Tuesday for the president of his college, so university, at our home. And you see this kind of salon style format where we can introduce the head of the university, she can make remarks, there's a Q&A, there's a dialogue. And then folks who have been givers or who are maybe just starting early on in their donor life with the university, then have a chance to have some intimate time with the leadership of the institution. That's, it's really important. It doesn't mean that everything's about events. And I'm the first one to push back against sort of an overpopulated events calendar, right? I think we have to be out asking for money more than we need to be planning parties, but there's definitely a strong place for this. And that's also how you know, when you get to the briefing cycle, you know, where you are with people, right? How close are they? How close are they in terms of their connection to the institution? How much are they aligned with the vision that we're talking about? You still have the chance to explore donor interests in that moment. And then if you're able to then organize and coordinate with your team, what's the actual, right? What's the thing that you're really focused on in this ask? What are you trying to, what case are you trying to make as far as this institution goes? So I wanted to just make sure that there's a way in which you can pull all of this together and recognize that the entire donor cycle is really important, not just the ask meeting. And just a quick response to a question in the chat. I think that there's a, it's about attending galas and other events in the community to identify folks. And I think absolutely, you know, I like being at events. I like being able to have those conversations and to take notes and to, you know, feed them back to the appropriate person or in the case, in my case, right, to identify new people. I do think it's important. I think, you know, if you are someone in this session who's at a independent school, particularly elementary schools, or maybe their only fundraising is through events, or then I would say that's maybe too much, right? You've got to be able to get into the full relationship cycle. You need to engage with donors on a one-on-one basis. You need to actually directly ask for money. So I'm not saying don't engage with the events and go to the gala and all that, but it can't only be that. So where do we start? Well, is this the right project, right? Do we have a strategic plan? Do you have the broader institutional objectives? Is there a capital campaign going on? Do you have a case for support that's clear? Or who are the right solicitors in this conversation, which I think is always really important because I like the team up, and we'll get to that a little bit. Is this the right time for this potential donor? Is this the right amount that we're asking for? And lastly, is the most important one, have we earned the right? Have we earned the right to ask? And by that, I mean, is this person at that place where this is an appropriate conversation about their philanthropy? I think, particularly within our schools, you're talking to folks who, alumni, who will always be alumni of your institution for their entire lives, right? Current parents and people who maybe are a significant part of the community for a long time. And certainly in the independent school world, we're talking about folks who, this is maybe the longest relationship they ever had with an academic institution, right? Independent schools can often be the pre-K to eight or pre-K to 12 even, and so you spent your entire life at this place. So you've gotta make sure that you have the relationship in place. We have the right prospects, but do you have the right relationship in place where you've earned the right to ask that person for a leadership gift, a significant gift, and in some cases, the biggest gift of their lives? And so how do you prepare for an ask meeting? Well, let's talk about that a little bit, and then we're gonna flip to a little bit of the psychology around. So let's just start with the preparation. And so I certainly know you're a prospective donor. Know your institution. And I think that that's something that sometimes gets a little bit overlooked. And by that, I mean, we are fundraisers, but we're not gunslingers. This is about the institution. We come in understanding, and we need to know what's happening at our schools. It's an elementary school. You need to know who the longstanding, beloved art teacher is. So you need to know all of these different aspects of who, and certainly, if you're at the university level, you need to know a lot of the details about what's happening programmatically at the school. You wanna review your briefing memos. You wanna understand whatever contact reports exist. Certainly, sometimes at small schools, they struggle with keeping up with the records. So then let's get to work on finding out that information and build together a coalition of people who can help you with it. I argue that I think it's worth developing an individualized proposal. I think the practice of it, even if you don't use it, and to explain that, I think if you've gone through the process of developing a proposal for a prospective donor with a specific gift request amount in it, even if you don't use that proposal, it's a roadmap for you on your solicitation, on your ask. So I think it's always worth putting in the investment. And then in preparation for the ask meeting, I would say, be very clear what the meeting's about. And I know that sounds simple, but I've seen it many times where fundraisers are not particularly clear about why they're scheduling a meeting or institutions where it's coming, maybe it's coming from the dean's office or from the head of school's office, and they're setting up a meeting, but they're not being really clear that this is a business conversation. This is a conversation about the future of the institution. This is a fundraising conversation. We would like to ask for your support in this conversation. All right, make sure that you're very clear about it because when you get to the actual ask, you don't want there to be any surprises. So I think that's a critical thing, and that's why I like to remind people of that. Also in preparation, let's determine who the right solicitation team is. There's a lot of ways that you can do this, right? There's a lot of, it's either the, sometimes it's the personal connection, sometimes it's not, right? There are plenty of times where folks will say, you know, I'm not the right person to ask because these are friends of mine, I'm too close to them, or I know them too well. Maybe it's based on their giving level. Maybe it's based on some other element of their constituency. But let's also remember that sometimes just the representative of the institution that has built this relationship that on a purely business level is not a bad thing either. So don't be afraid of that. I like to role play and consider responses and a follow-up strategy. Consider your location and setting. You're, you know, by the way, the location piece can be also really important. There are times where sometimes you might be at a place where it's not the right setup. It's not the right place to be asking for money. So that's, and I've heard a lot of horror stories along the way. So be advised. The gift documentation is important. You should be ready with that before you actually go into the meeting. And then draft a solicitation script, right? Schedule that pre-meeting, review it, have the, if there are other talking points you ought to be talking through, you should, you can have that. And so as a follow-up to that, I just want to show you what I think a solicitation script looks like when you're going into this, right? So what's the, what are you going to do when you start this meeting? I think it's a welcome and a thank you. You can't say thank you enough. We'll come back to that. You want to review the fundraising and the, or the campaign objectives, right? What are we trying to do? You need to make the ask. And so you should write it out. It's always the, I think the way that you're ready and the best way to be prepared and then handle the response, right? So you've scripted a set in some cases of responses in that you're ready for, right? You have a, you're able to know, particularly if this is a team, particularly when there's a solicitation team, you ought to be really clear what you're going to say in response to this potential, this donor in this conversation. And so that's, I think that's an important one for you to note. So I'd like us to, we're gonna go into some breakout groups and what I want us to focus on here, now I try to put some level setting here and some context. And so recognize that this is, it doesn't matter if it's a $10 million gift or if it's a $1,000 gift in some cases, it's asking for money can be scary. And so let's kind of talk through that a little bit. What's their greatest fear about asking for money? And I've worked with a lot of volunteers in this field and volunteers will say, certainly in the independent school world throughout my career, I'll do anything except ask for money. I hear it over and over and over and over and over again. So that means there's something to this, emotionally, psychologically, whatever it is. So let's tap into it. Let's actually discuss it. What is your greatest fear about asking for money? What do you think is the root of that fear? Where do you think it comes from? And it may not be something that you've experienced personally, but certainly in the field, we hear it a lot, right? We've all encountered it somehow and I've certainly experienced it. And then how do you think people can overcome this fear of asking for money? So if you could take some time in your breakout groups, Christy is gonna move us around. And when you're there, just think about to what, if you could think about these three questions, we'll come back and we'll have a little discussion just to kind of get us into the right frame of mind, understanding what some of the reasons why this is challenging. And we're gonna go into talking about the actual ask and the ask sentence and how do you close a gift? So if Christy can do that for us. Yep. Welcome back. We're probably just beginning to kind of talk through sort of what are some of these fears? What are the greatest fears? And there's one in the chat, not knowing the appropriate amount, asking too high, too low. I think those are, that's really, really common. You know, another that shared out the conversation of sort of not knowing what you don't know. And, you know, maybe the school has failed this family in some way or this child, and we don't have all of the information and maybe you don't even want all the information sometimes when you're dealing with a high school. But, you know, those can be things that can really trip up and ask, and there's a fear of not being ready for that. Or coming into a new role. Yeah, that's a good one that's in the chat now. And so what happens when you've, you know, as I noted in there in the earlier part of the conversation, a lot of the times it starts with stewardship. And so if you're coming into a new role and the folks haven't been stewarded well before you, before you arrived, then what? Anybody else want to unmute and share out something that they came up with that the greatest fears, some of the top fears of asking for money? I think one of mine is- I'm sorry, go ahead. No, you go ahead. I think one of mine is the no. Like asking and then just being told no. Yeah, so the potential for the no, right? That that's a real thing. And I think that's a great point. And so what do you think is the root of that one? Because that one can be fairly deep, right? If I don't want to ask for money because they might say no, what do you think is the root of that fear? I feel like, I don't know, almost like I'm bothering them, you know? They're giving their stuff. They're giving their annual gift yearly. We're doing our stewardship with them, but I don't want to bother them and maybe upset that balance. And then we go from at least, you know, a thousand, 5,000 a year to nothing. So it's not just a no, it's like no with like- Like I'm told that's my fear, not necessarily- Yeah, yeah, no, no, of course. That's kind of my, okay, now you're bugging me or you're asking me for more and I'm giving you this and no, I'm just not going to do this anymore. That's right. It's not just a no, but it's a no and I'm angry that you asked. That's an interesting one. That's a good one. We're going to dig a little bit more into that. There was someone else that had- Yeah, in our group, hearing the no was a part of it, but we tied it to that it becomes personal, right? It's not a no to this fool. It's like, you're telling me no, you know? And how do we separate that? That's a really good point. And particularly because we so often, we talk about fundraising as a relationship business and it's about building relationships with people. And so then you built a relationship and this person said, no. They're saying no to you personally after you built this relationship, which is a challenge. What do you think is the root of that fear? Where do you think that comes from? You want to share more about that or want to elaborate on it, or if someone else said something in that group that maybe spoke to the root of that fear. I think, I don't know if everyone can hear me. It's quarter to two in Japan here. So I'm just going to put that out there. I think it's partly to do with the fact that we feel if someone were to ask us for money as fundraising professionals, we don't have the sorts of resources or the sort of corporate experience that our donors have. And so recently I had to ask somebody who has a foundation, but I knew had a very long and successful career in various different sectors. And I just tried to visualize the senior level at which he was operating for many years meant he was having to negotiate hard. And I just sort of reassured myself that he'd had to have much more difficult conversations. And this conversation with me was really small fry. I was polite, I was friendly. I said what I had to say. He said no in the end, but it was fine. I think that for us to be asked for some money like that for we're projecting onto ourselves, that would be embarrassing because we don't have it. But for these people, they're used to saying no to much pushier people than us. That's great. The sort of anticipation of the no has come up a few times here, right? Or that we're maybe doing it wrong or that it's not landing in the right place. And in the chat, even that it's the ask won't hit the person because of a generational difference or a specific area that they're trying to raise funds for, right? So it's really a lot of the same route, which is that it's this fear of being told no, this concern that we're not gonna do it well. And in many cases, it's personal or you think it might be hurting the institution because you got the no and then somehow that had a negative impact on the relationship. How do you think this, did any of you come up with any good ideas how to overcome this fear? I mean, for me, it's like, I always say to myself, you can't convince someone to give, right? Someone's either a giver or they're not, right? You can find their passion or what they are passionate about. But I try to not take it personally because I'm like, if you're gonna say no, you would have said no to me, you would have said no to someone else. Like if I did my work where I found out what areas you were interested in, how long were your relationship with the school, if I take all that and I make the ask and you still say no, that you're not a giver or you're not a giver at this time and it's fine. Yep, great point. And I would say at this time, I would really make, because earlier in this presentation, I kind of made the point that everybody's a giver and maybe that was wrong, but I think I'm right on that. I think that the inclination is there. I think we have enough data to suggest that folks are givers. And in many cases, we wouldn't have seen this unbelievable rise in Americans with specific giving vehicles if people weren't givers. But givers to, is it the right time? Is it the right amount? And those kinds of things, or is it the right project, right? Those are the key questions. And I think you're right about that, that sometimes you get the no because of some others or you haven't earned the right to ask, which has come up a few times, right? That the stewardship was so poor over the last three, four or five years that someone who was a consistent giver or a significant giver stopped giving. And so now if it's your job to bring that person back, then that's a hard thing to do for sure. Yeah, this is a good one. You have to listen before making it, right? And so that's a big piece of it. So the overcoming in many ways has to do with knowing the prospect, knowing the family, being prepared in the right task, knowing what to expect. I don't, a good question is, I'm curious if there's a percentage of nos that you can expect. And I was actually gonna share this, that I have experienced in 15, 16 years of making asks for an educational institution and then some years before that, working in the nonprofit space with CCS. I've seen very few nos. So I wanted to, since I know that's come up as a fear, I think it's really interesting and it's important to sort of point out that I've seen very, very few nos. I've seen some not right nos. I've seen, maybe that amounts a little too much for me, but very, very few nos. And I think that there's something about being prepared, which I love that note in the chat, having done your homework, having really listened in your time with people that if you can get to the place where you assume folks are givers and you're very unlikely to get a no, then that's the perfect ask, right? You're less, that fear isn't really there, right? If a portion of the fear is related potentially to the no, then get to the place where the no is really unlikely. You've earned this right to ask, you know that these folks are givers, you understand the relationship, you've listened when they've told you things in the past, you have the ability to sit in there, there's no surprises, that's another one, right? They know that you're here for this conversation. All of that together gives you some, should give you some pretty good confidence to recognize that it's very likely that you're not gonna get a no, right? You're going to get something else and hopefully it's a yes. And there's another one in the chat is that stewardship, right? And that's a hard, I mean, that is really a hard thing, which is why I said, let's put that in the front. And there are some times where you might see, and this is the way to overcome that, and we'll dig a little bit into this, but I think this is an important thing. If you're coming into an organization where the stewardship historically hasn't been great, or your portfolio that you get handed is one where the folks who were the non-givers or the lapsed donors or all the people who were from the stewardship wasn't great, then you've got to make sure that you're creating the activity metric and not the dollar metric for yourself. If you were in the position where these are folks who might take some time to get to the ask meeting, you're almost rewinding the full clock. You're going through the entire relationship cycle again with these people because the stewardship was poor, they were burned in the past. You didn't deliver on the thing that they gave to you. Whatever it is, make sure that when you're working with your team and with your direct supervisors, that you're creating activity metrics, not dollar metrics. Because the worst thing you can do in that moment with a donor that hasn't been stewarded well or has been burned in the past or stopped giving is to then rush into an ask. The relationship building piece, the work of the stewardship, the work of listening can happen, and you're doing that. You can do that work. You can have the right donor touches. You can have the right cultivation engagements. You can do all of that work and make that part of the record that you're evaluated on, not whether you brought this donor who used to be $100,000 giver back to $100,000. It's about getting that person to the place where they're ready for a new ask. That's a great point. Thank you for sharing that in the chat. Some other ones here, when you talk about overcoming the fear of asking, well, let's acknowledge that discomfort. There's a little bit of it that makes me think that's good. I mean, if you can acknowledge it and maybe even embrace it a little bit. I like it, and I like it to teaching that first, no matter how experienced you might be as a classroom teacher, that first day of school, that night before the first day of school, you've got some butterflies, or you're a little bit nervous. You might have everything down with your curriculum. You know how to do this, but you might have just that little bit of butterflies, and I think that's really great. That little bit of nerves going into the first day of school, that means you care. And so I think acknowledging that discomfort and the little bit of nerves that go into an ask that is a significant ask is a good thing. Let's rally around that. Let's embrace it. Let's lean into it. And just make sure that you're prepared. I think that's really important. And to that point about stewardship, don't rush into the ask. So relationships take time. And if you're, particularly if you were handed kind of the, and we know this, we know this is the case. You were, when you're a new fundraiser in an organization, you're not necessarily getting handed the best prospects all the time. And so acknowledge that that's, the activity metric is the key, because before you get to an ask, you really have to get to the place where they're ready. And it came up, this came up as well. Don't take it personally. This is about the mission. It has to be a person, right? I think the people giving to people is really important. I think being able to engage with an individual who is in some ways really translating a mission for you, bringing a mission and a vision to you as a prospective donor, that's really important. So I think that that's really, once you've got that context, the ask is great and it should be terrific. And there shouldn't be a whole lot of fear connected to it, but a little nerves in the room is a good thing. By the way, if it's too easy and you're not nervous at all, and the donor says yes right away, then you didn't ask for enough. And you want this, you want that donor to feel a little bit stretched and you want to feel a little bit nervous asking that donor. So that means, if you're asking for a specific number, you want to have some nerves in the room. So let's get to during the ask meeting. How are we going to do this, right? I think some of this is I've said before, which is to say thank you. And I'm just going to keep reminding people of that because it's a thank you even for the engagement. It's a thank you for taking the meeting. It's a thank you for your past giving, right? It's all those things matter. Be clear and be specific. If we are in this, as we're doing this, the ask that's not really an ask doesn't work. You might think it works because it's easier, but if you haven't walked out of the room and been really clear and specific, you're asking for money to do this thing. And in some cases you're asking for this dollar amount to do this thing at your institution, then that's not actually serving anyone in that moment. I do believe in challenging the donor. Let's give them the opportunity to lead. So let's flip that like I'm afraid of a no thing. What if you're actually, it's not that they're not saying no to you or it's not about a fear of no. Maybe the concern, and maybe we just need to flip our mindset a little bit. Maybe what you should be thinking as a fundraiser is that you're providing an opportunity for this person to have some significant meaning in their lives, to do something significant for an institution that they care about. You're doing them a favor. Why would you be afraid of doing someone a favor? Let's acknowledge that part of it, right? I don't walk into the ask meeting saying, hey, I'm doing you a favor here. But I do say to my team, if there's a solicitation team or if I'm training someone up or I'm working to get ready for an ask with a head of school or a dean, I do say, remember, we're doing them a favor. And so let's lean into that part of it. Let's go in with confidence. Let's be happy about the work that we're doing because we're doing them a favor. Be sure to listen. And that's because you can pivot when necessary if you're listening and then enjoy the silence, which we'll dig into a little bit more to establish a follow-up plan. So I think these are the real key elements right here. As you're going through the meeting, it almost takes you through the full flow, right? If you are at every point in time throughout the meeting, thinking about the being gracious and about thanking people, if you're also aware that you have to be clear and specific, and this is why I always say to script it out, make sure that you're challenging the donor and giving them an opportunity to lead. And if you're listening throughout this whole thing, you know how to pivot. Once you've asked, be quiet, let that sit, and then establish a follow-up. So there's your arc. You can adjust, you can move, you can pivot, you can do things as necessary. But I think if you lean into this arc of an ask meeting, you're probably going to not get a lot of yes. You're probably gonna get a lot of yeses, and you're gonna enjoy it. Something that I was just working with the head of school last week, a million dollar ask for this elementary school that's never asked for that much money before from anybody. And I said, you know, remember, this is fun. We're enjoying this. In many cases, if it's not something that you've done before as an executive director or a head of school or as a dean, this is a growth opportunity. We all want growth opportunities in our lives and in our careers. Embrace that. This is a fun one. Also during the ask meeting, let's dig into a couple of these things. If you are asking to open into questions, then you're able to pivot a little bit as you go along. Stay away from the yes or no's, because that doesn't give you much information. But ask them open-ended questions. And one way that I think about this, particularly with alumni fundraising, which I know a lot of university folks do, the chance to get them talking about their experience and the people in their class and the relationships and the things that mattered to them and the faculty that were influential in their lives, that's where you're going to get the best and the richest conversation. Some of it you already know, and some of it you don't know. So keep that part going. Ask those open-ended questions so you can listen. Pay attention to the feedback. And I say this, if you see that note, don't push back. It's to a point, though. It's to a point. I think I'm speaking to, specifically to a lot of independent school fundraisers, but also the university fundraisers. This gift doesn't get you anything other than what we are promising you. So you might not be happy with the head of the school. You may not be happy with the university president. You might think that that teacher's dismissal was something that bothered you. You might be mad about the football team. I don't care. Because I'm going to let you talk, but it's to a point. Don't be afraid to, you know, you pay attention to the feedback, but don't be afraid to stop it. Don't be afraid to provide that clarity. Because occasionally, sometimes some of your donors, especially your larger donors, think that there's an opportunity connected to this gift to not just give feedback, but then to kind of demand a particular type of behavior or response from the institution. And they don't get that. They don't get that. So keep that in mind as you go in. Certainly given the political climate on a lot of university campuses, particularly given that where a lot of independent schools are, don't give into that. You know, a line I use a lot working in the private school world was saying that, I said, this gift buys you access to one person on campus, me. I'll have coffee with you anytime. I'll go with you. You know, we can have lunch, we can do whatever, but this does not buy you access to the head of school, to the athletic director, to the theater director who's casting for the play. Nope, no influence, none at all. So push back to, you know, don't push back just for the sake of pushing back. Listen, take the feedback, but don't get steamrolled in these conversations because sometimes people do use, sometimes people use their philanthropy as an opportunity to have leverage over you as a fundraiser and over the institution. Don't allow it. The place where I think that's most, in many ways, most enjoyable and an opportunity for us to lean into is also to embrace that philanthropic advisor role. So if you're working with young parents, I think about the elementary schools, pre-K to AIDS, or even schools with younger parents, you know, lean into that role. Like you're helping to train them to be philanthropists. This is not about them telling you no, this is about what you're providing them. You're providing them with the opportunity to grow into this role as a philanthropist. You think about your young alumni, right? We say this all the time, right? That there's a, when you train them as young alumni, then you're going to get your strongest response from down the road because they're already there. That's you as philanthropic advisor. That's your role. Like that's pretty, that's pretty powerful. And I mentioned the event that we hosted on Tuesday, the head of DePaul University said at this cultivation event in our home that the largest donor to the school had previously, sorry, the first gift from the largest donor to the school was $27. Well, that's us. That's us serving as philanthropic advisor, bringing that donor, training that donor, bringing them along, whether they're young alumni or young parents to get them to the point where when they have the capacity, they might be the largest donor to your institution. That's a powerful thing. That's a powerful role. We should celebrate and embrace that. So in the, I want to dig into some specifics in the time that we have remaining. And I'd like to think about sort of what's the language of the ask? So there's one way to do, there's many, many, many ways to do this. I'm going to lean into this first part here, which is a question. And a question can be something to the effect of, will you consider leading this important initiative by making an anchor gift of a blank to our campaign? Right, that's something that, and there was a comment in the chat similar to that. Are you interested in investing in this initiative, this campaign? Will you consider, right? Those are opportunities to ask a question, and maybe it takes a little bit of the fear out of it if you feel like you're asking the question that's there. There's another way, I think, a little bit of a softer question as well is to take that dollar amount out of it, right? If you kind of discuss what anchor giving it looks like or leadership giving, whatever you want to call it, then maybe you have that conversation. So they're sort of aware. And then you ask, would you consider a leadership gift? Would you consider an anchor gift? If the concern is saying the number, then there's some ways to sort of prep the conversation or sort of prep the ask so that when you get to it, you're just asking for leadership or for the anchor gift or whatever the thing is and not for a particular number. But I like a sentence like this. So it's a question, it invites a conversation. Rarely would, when you say, will you consider a gift or will you consider investing in this? No one's going to say outright no to that. It's going to be a back and forth conversation. So that's one way to do. And then what about a statement? Another way to look at this from the contrasting that with the question of you say, if you've written out a specific proposal, this proposal asks for a comprehensive pledge of blank to this capital. So you think about a family that's been an annual donor for many years. They understand what we're doing. They know that from time to time, the university or the school will also engage in capital campaigns, right? So this is a sophisticated donor. So let's then try to back this out, create the proposal that says, hey, this is what you've been giving an annual for, this is a continuation of what you've been giving an annual. And then I've also outlined and showed you what a capital campaign commitment would look like in addition to that. And so here's a comprehensive look at it. That way, there's not a whole lot of contrast, right? It's that I would lean more into this for a sophisticated donor, right? Someone who's been invested and involved for a long time. It's a nice way to lay it out. They understand why they're in the meeting and here's a chance to really just make the statement, be really clear about what you're trying to do and you've written it out. Another, to help us achieve these ambitious goals, we're asking you to make a flagship investment of blank in this campaign. So there's, as opposed to it being a question, it's a statement saying that we're asking you for this. So it's a little bit of a flip on the language and you can think about how that might work for you or for your institution. How does that, if that's something that feels comfortable, there are ways to kind of take it out of the, I think it takes a little bit of the intensity out of that. It's another reason why I like to have it written. I know a lot of people don't, but even if you're just looking at two or three pages of a proposal that shows the basic need or the vision around this capital campaign or whatever the thing is that you're trying to do. And then a page that says, here's what they ask is, that gives you a little bit of a chance to step back, right? To say, this is what this is. We're asking you to make this investment. And I'll give you another, what I think is another little side trick as well, a little bit later. But if you're looking at the contrast between the question and the statement, I first wanna ask, what do you think is, what's more comfortable to you? And what have you done that you think works well? Like if you're comparing that. And then also maybe to take five minutes to try to draft an ask sentence. So that can be either a question or a statement, right? However it feels like it works for you. But think about your general fundraising objectives just sort of broadly, right? That doesn't have to be, because you might be asking for an annual fund gift, right? You may not be a capital campaign. Think about the culture of your institution. Has there ever, does anybody ask anybody for a number? Right, in some institutions that answer is no. If you are at an institution where everybody gets asked for a number, think about that as you're doing it as well. And then your own personal stuff. Take five minutes, come up with a sentence that you think reflects you and how you might ask for a gift at your institution, either a question or a statement. If you're going to pick a question or a statement, I'd love to hear why. Like, why did you think question versus statement? And then maybe we'll have a bit of a discussion, drop some of them in the chat, but let's take five minutes and just focus on it. Real quick before people start on that, I just wanna highlight a question that was put into the chat. Emily had asked by taking the number out of the ask, are there any pros or cons to letting the donor decide the amount they want to give versus providing them with a ballpark figure? Yeah, so again, I think that's a little bit of the culture of your institution. So if you, and there's sort of two parts to that. Like if you're thinking no one asked people for a number, then okay, but you're unlikely to self-select into a million dollar donation if no one's asked you for a million dollars. So, I think there's a risk to that. The other side of it though is yes, there are ways to do a range and we're gonna get to that. I'm gonna show you kind of a way to maybe do it within a range. But let's, in this exercise, let's lean into the more direct number ask and see if you can come up with a statement or a question that works for that. So I think given the size of the group, it might be a good idea. We just take a couple of minutes in breakout groups and just share those sentences out loud. And then we'll come back and share. So we'll just take, let's just take a few minutes to go to, to come to, cause you can share them out. Everybody get a chance to share those. Christy, can you set those up for us? Yeah, I'm just creating them now. I'm gonna create these, so it should be about three to four people per group for you guys. So you all should have gotten an invite if you wanna hop into one. That's great. Well, welcome back. If you, if you were unmuted in the breakout, if you wouldn't mind muting, and then we'll kind of get some folks to share out. In my group, it was interesting. Both schools were talking about building the culture of philanthropy. Don't really have the history and the experience of asking, right? This isn't an operation that's been leveled up in the same way that maybe some of your schools and universities are. And so we talked about things like saying in the assent, would you consider a first gift? It's something that's like part of letting people know and signaling that we're part of this together. We're building this together. This is your, this is our first kind of real initiative, maybe, and this is your first gift. And we're partnering to this and building it together. Peter is at an international school, and we were talking about the importance of signaling to folks who are, maybe don't come from the, I talked about the strong culture of philanthropy and we don't come from the, I talked about the strong context for giving in the United States, but that may not be the same elsewhere. It's, it can be more, maybe it's more fledgling, right? There's certainly not the same tax breaks, not the same opportunities. And so I would say let's, in that case, we talked a little bit about leaning into the specific opportunities in the ask. Like when you're talking about the assentence, will you give to this? That particular thing, I think providing the specificity in the assentence really makes a difference. Peter, did I get that somewhat right from our conversation? Yeah, yeah, totally. I mean, we're, and I think it's, when you go back to the idea of trust building, we've gotta be able to show them that, you gave money for this and here it is. You gave money for this and here it is. And we need to build up a credibility with folks, with these accomplishments that they contributed to on faith at first, so that we can get to those larger asks, I think. I think that's great. And those are, so those are both in the question lane, mostly because it's fledgling, it's charting, we're sort of, we're getting it going. And this isn't a longstanding, very built out, sophisticated fundraising operation. And so I think that's a good thing to say, asking people to come along with us, as we get this started, or do some really dynamic and new things. Would anybody else like to share kind of what they, the kind of essence they put together and why? I mean, I'll share mine. Will you consider being a leader in the John David Lutz Lab Initiative and honor his legacy and all he has done for UE and its students by making an anchor gift of $200,000 to our Forward campaign? Yeah, it felt good. So why did you pick a question over a statement? Because it ties into my fear. My fear is I don't wanna convince someone to give. I don't wanna sell you on it. I want to talk about the benefits of it, remind you of the benefits that you got, right? And then have you make that choice. Yeah, I like that. And so there's an element of that of, the more I think the statement does feel more, sometimes more aggressive in that sense, right? You're telling folks what a little bit in a different way, but I like that. I like the way you phrased it. I think that's powerful. And the piece of it that's the other way that you can flip that a little bit is the, which I do a lot with volunteer trainings, is the join me part of it. And so if you're asking for, if it's a scholarship fund or if it's something where there's a lot of entry points into it, join me with a gift to this fund. Oh boy, wow. I mean, that's pretty direct, but it is something that you might consider if it's something that's accessible to a lot of different people and you yourself may have contributed or the Dean that you're with has contributed or the head of school or another alum that you might be on a, or alum that you might be on the ask with. The other thing that's interesting, and I think this is a wonderful opportunity for schools. If you are working at your alma mater, right? You're working, you're at the university where you went to school or you're at the independent school where you went. That join me is the most powerful ask line that I think you've got, because you're also in that constituency. So that's powerful. I like that. I do, I'm asking for like a smaller amount. Like we have a thing called President's Club, right? So it's like, if you easily give to the President's Club, it means that there's some, you know, you have some means, right? And so I give to the President's Club because it's not like hundreds of thousands. So I use that as like, would you join me in helping, you know, supporting the President's Club for blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, like that. Bingo. That's, that's fantastic. I love it. Anybody else want to share one? I just, I found it helpful, as I've learned to, to remember that it is an investment. I think that in fundraising, it can feel like, shy, almost like, oh, would you please maybe give us some money? As opposed to like, in the business context, for example, like when you're trying to get people to invest in a business, you're pitching the value that they get from this and, and the person investing isn't like, doing you, they are doing you a favor, but ultimately, they're making an investment in an end that they want to achieve. And I think that that can be translated into a fundraising context that we're not, you know, just like asking for money. And that's like, you said earlier, like, we're doing them a favor, we're helping them achieve impacts that are important to them that they care about. And so we're pitching that investment that they can give to make the impact that they want to have. I like it. And do you think that's better as a statement or as a question? When you talk about the leadership giving, impact giving? Can you elaborate a bit on that question? I guess I would say, would you, do you feel more comfortable saying it as, would you consider an investment? Would you invest in this campaign? Or do you think when you, the way you described it felt more like a statement, like an investment in this campaign would be very impactful in these ways? Yeah, I prefer to avoid would you consider, I prefer to make a statement. I think often when we say, would you consider, it kind of is an easy out for them to be like, yes, I will consider. And then it's, it's, it's an indefinite opportunity. And so as opposed to would you make an investment of $5,000 or whatever the number is, and they might say, I need to consider it, or they might say yes or no, but it kind of puts the ball in their court to define the terms of that as opposed to creating an out. And you've got to feel it, it's got to work for you. But I love the language of an investment of $100,000 in this campaign will do this. Like, I think that's really powerful. So that to me, I think that's a great lane. If you feel confident, comfortable going in that direction. I think you're, you're, you're doing it from that perspective of we're, we're inviting you into something that's pretty cool. You know, that it's back to the we're doing you a favor. It's great. Anybody else? I can, I can go. So, okay. You've been incredibly generous over the years. Thank you so much. And we have an extraordinary opportunity to give more students access to the downtown school by leveraging a $500,000 challenge match grant for our financial aid endowment in this fiscal year. Would you consider making an anchor gift of a hundred thousand to kick off the campaign? Right, right. So you're, I love the context and the specificity. And so the, you're going to have to listen after that, because that's one where you're, I really love the like be quiet and let the, let the folks sit with it. Cause they're probably going to run through their heads like, okay, well, how much of the match has already been raised? Okay. What percentage of the match? Does that mean that I'm doing the, I'm leading? And then do you have a, do you have a clear path? If I come up with a hundred thousand, do you have a path to the other 400,000 to get the full match, right? Those kinds of questions are going to come up in that. So definitely it's a good, it's a good ask. And it's a one where you really got to sit back and just let them think about it. You know, sometimes the silence will be uncomfortable, but once you laid it out, give them a chance to really actually process it. Don't step on that. Ask when you've, when you've been that specific and not clear, don't step on it, let them really think about it. And the you know, a lot of times when I'm working with out of school, they want to jump in and they want to like qualify it or explain it or more. And I just said, no, just sit there. Even if you're like, even if you have to tap your toe or to, you know, count the count, whatever it is that you have to do to say, but I like it. I like, because you you've offered a lot of clarity in it. That's great. Any other good ones? I didn't have a, I mean, I have a specific, but my approach was a little more of a combination between a question and a statement, which is why I wanted to share it. So the one I wrote out just to give for an instance, for an example was I know that you have a real love for supporting our students' basic needs, and I've heard you share your giving history towards specific food security. Will you consider a gift of 5,000 to be used specifically for our food pantry? Yeah. So my, my hope with that was I could take the information they've shared and kind of feed it back to them. And then it would immediately explain why I'm asking for that specific ask. Yeah. So you, you made it specific and you put it in the context for your organization, which is really important. I think that's right on point. There's a, there's an opportunity there to, I mean, if you think that's the right number or whatever it is, there is an opportunity there to kind of not do the number, right? Because you've said this, you know, it's important to them and you know, they might want to, to stretch for it because you've, you've kind of reflected it back to them that they've already expressed how important it is. And maybe there's a leadership circle or there's something, a giving level that would be a way for them to aspire to something beyond just the number potentially. But I love the ask. I love that. I think it's great. But there's a, the reason why I say that is that sometimes if you know that they really care about this thing that you're asking for, be sure that your number is not too low. Not too high. Not too low. Not too low. Yeah. You know, either give them the out on the, give them like the sort of options on the upside or make sure that you're really asking for an aspirational number. They might not hit it, but make sure the number's not too low. So when you've got that level of feedback to say that this, you know, I think about this from the, on the university side, right? This, you've got the person who's been the president of the alumni association and, and you know, won the young alumni award and has been volunteering all the time. Don't go in with a low ask. Go in with the most aspirational ask you can come up with. They love you. They absolutely love you. They care about what you're doing. Don't go into the low ask. Make sure that either you've given yourself an opening and upside, you know, for a higher number or that you just ask for something that's really big. Thank you. Those are the moments to do it. We have a couple more. I can offer one. I can't tell whether I'm, I'm, I'm on or not. Okay, great. Great. Thanks. So, we'd go along these lines. This month, we're coming to a small group of key donors and asking you to not only renew your support, but to join us in an endeavor to raise a million dollars every year for the next 10 years. And we're looking for a commitment from you in the hood of $100,000 to help further the support that you have been giving and to build the impact that you're giving us having on students, not only today, but over the next 10 years. I think that's great. Acknowledging the past, giving the consistent support, talking about the impact being all in it. You said in the neighborhood of, I know, I heard myself say that I wouldn't say that I would ask for a specific amount. So yeah, yeah, I think it's, I think sometimes that gives folks the opportunity to say, all right, well, I'm in a different neighborhood from you. 10 grand. Yeah, exactly. That's my neighborhood. So, or whatever. It actually, one of the questions in the chat was about in asking for an increase. And I think that's really important. The way that you did that, which is to acknowledge that giving that's there, right? We're not taking any of that for granted. And as you think about what you're doing next, or you've explained the impact and why you're being asked for more, right? Why you're coming back to ask this loyal donor for more. I think that's fantastic. Your last donor is your best donor. So once you've earned that right to ask for the increase or for the additional gift, I think you go for it. I think that's really good. And while still acknowledging that past support, I like that. I can go. I have to help us achieve the ambitious goals of being the number one business school in the nation. Will you consider partnering with us by making an anchor gift of 250,000? Yes. So this is a, is that part, would you think that, would you see that as part of like a capital campaign ask? Yes. Yeah. And I think that it's nice to be able to share that ambition. There is, there's a competitiveness in some of your donors. And so something that I, that I always advise folks to do is when you're doing your research or as you're building the relationship, try to gauge that level of competitiveness in your, whether it's an alum, whether it's a current parent, try to use that as, that should be in your contact notes. That should be in your briefing memo. This person is really competitive, you know, so that, that, you know, when you go into that ask, when you say something like we want to be number one, that really resonates with that donor. And so for a lot of times, you know, I have this conversation when it's like, all right, the folks at, at Deerfield, they're talking about being better than the folks at show, you know, they use that as part of their ask. And so let's make sure that when you, you are aware that that's the kind of thing that this donor wants. And I like it because the truth is a lot of our schools, you know, that identity piece of it is really important and is often connected to their competitiveness. I think that, that with, and I'll just say from my own personal perspective, I think a lot of those, those aspirational things are fantastic. And for me as a donor, the competitiveness doesn't work, you know, it's not, it's not something that lands for me. It does land for other people. So make sure that you're, you're very keenly aware of the type of donor for whom that matters. And then you, then you go in with that ask, which I really like. It's really great. Anybody else like to share? I had a quick question, not so much a direct ask, but some of my colleagues in sales will describe how they go into meetings and they oftentimes ask for an increased amount or something in a project plan that is well above what they expect the other person to give. But when negotiation happens, you can kind of come down to the level that you were anticipating all along. But I'm thinking in terms of fundraising and the type of work we do, is it more advantageous to ask for that large increase with the thought process of coming down to a more reasonable level and challenging the donor? Or do you also risk kind of turning them off to the idea by over-asking, missing your mark and then possibly offending? Yeah, I think that might work in the sales world. I don't think it really works in the fundraising world. I think it should be ambitious. It should be really clear, but it's also achievable. I mean, I want the full-on yes. I don't want the, I don't want the close to be a negotiation. I want the close to be, that's the, no one's ever asked us for that much money before, but we can do it because it's the right time and the right case and the right moment. So that's the thing that I want. And if I've asked for way more than I know they can give, I'm not going to get that. So I wouldn't, so in the last ask sentence, they asked for $250,000. I wouldn't ask for a million with the hopes of getting 250. I think that you ask for 250 with the hope that this is a prospective donor and a family that can do it. We know it's a stretch, but they can do it. And so that's when you get to start to talk about stretching, about leadership, about impact in a way that sales, you can't do. Cause we get to do that in the nonprofit world. We get to do that at schools. We get to talk about these powerful impacts that we're having. And so I want it to be achievable, but I want there to be a stretch. So I would shift that a little bit and think more about what's going to stretch this donor, but also be possible. Thank you. I'm going to, I'll take, actually, if there's any questions now, if not, I'll go back to the share screen. There's one. The anonymity of DAF. So great question. So you have to work with your gift processing team, your advancement services team to make sure. So the question is about how do you get around the anonymity of donor advice funds? And so, right. So the donor is actually Fidelity charitable or Vanguard charitable, whatever it is. Your advancement services team should be really clear about how to record and process that gift. So when you're going in and that way from the, from the, both the stewardship side and you as a fundraiser, when you go into ask, I love to be able to say, can you think about a stretch gift from your donor advice fund? Right. Of course, that's, that's a, that's a perfectly valid and reasonable thing to ask for in today's world. When you know that it's connected. So there's two, there's two ways that I address that. One is if you were to bring that out, bring that, that conversation forward with the donor, make sure that they have it toggled off on their donor advice fund so that it's not, that it's not anonymous, but sometimes they, they, they don't know how to do it or they forget to do it, help them with that. And then second, make sure your advancement services team knows how to record that gift. So yes, it's technically from Vanguard charitable. This is the family that has facilitated and initiated that gift. You can find out some of the technical stuff on the case website that there's some, there's some stuff there that would help you specifically with that question, which I, which, which I like as we've moved into things like, you know, a donor that you, that $250,000 donor, that a hundred thousand dollar pledge could be 20,000 a year for five years. Every one of those chunks coming from a donor advice fund. So we have to get good at that on the fundraising side. So we know we're asking for an asset gift at that point. Right. Which is actually really important. I do like asking for a stretch gift, which is the other question. Sometimes, you know, sometimes we say that because, and it's not a stretch and I've done that before. I asked, I challenged a parent at an independent school where I worked. I said, would you, I'm issuing you a challenge, a stretch gift of a million dollars. And the, the parents said, you know, that's not much of a challenge for us. That isn't really a stretch. And, and so you, you get, I love it. Great. That was much that they, they came right back at me. And so in that ask, I pivoted and I said, well, can we, can we set up another meeting? Can we set up another meeting and talk about something that's really going to be the right gift for you? And so we, we rescheduled, we talked a little bit deeper. We dug into a little bit more, we found the right opportunity and that donor came in at 5 million. So, you know I do like the, the, the stretch gift conversation, but sometimes know that they, they may come back at you and say, it's not a stretch. I'm going to go to the sharing screen and we can, if we can all see that. I'm going to come back to the, to the language of the ask. And I'm going to talk about a little trick here. The, a gift pyramid. And so if you are in, you're working on an initiative or a campaign where you've actually tried to outline a little bit of what the path to that campaign goal is, sometimes you can just use a gift pyramid to get you there. And so, you know, there are ways in which you can craft this and create it where it's a great solicitation tool. Particularly when you look at, and I want to speak to some of those schools out there where they, where you've said, you know, we don't really have much of a fundraising culture or we haven't really, we haven't really been asking for specific amounts. Okay. Well, maybe you need a gift table. That's going to say, Hey, our, our goal here is $10 million total. Our goal here is a million dollars. It doesn't matter what it is. We're going to piece together these little boxes on a gift pyramid and show it to you and then try to steer and direct you towards the opportunity to fill in a box. I I've worked at a school where they, they did this as part of a young alumni campaign, or, you know, the young alumni aren't going to maybe lead your initiative, but if you could say, Hey, our young alum, we'd like our young alumni to do a million dollars of this $50 million campaign that we're running. Here's the tool for just that million. How many young alumni can we get to fill in boxes on this gift table that can, that can actually get us to that million? It's totally separate from that. You don't want to show them a $50 million gift table because they can't help with that. But what they can do is maybe fill in enough of the boxes on a million-dollar gift table that's just for them. It can be a powerful tool. You're going to change it and adjust it to fit the ask. And I like this question. Will you fill in a box at the leadership level? Well, it gives you a chance to not say a number, but to still stretch people. So the way I would do it is, and the way I've done in the past, sometimes you use your school colors. I worked at a school where it was blue and gold. The gold boxes were seven figures and up. The blue boxes were under seven figures. OK, would you fill in a gold box at the leadership level? So maybe that's a million, maybe that's 5 million, maybe that's 2 million. There are ways to use that, especially sometimes also remember that as we've gotten more sophisticated at finding out information about donors, they've gotten more sophisticated at hiding it at the same time. So occasionally, you might say, yeah, I think they're in the seven-figure range, but I'm not really sure. Well, maybe give yourself a chance to ask it in that way. Would you fill in a box at the leadership level? Because I know you can do it. Here's an example of a table of gifts. I like to turn this into a pyramid with a bunch of boxes and say, I need two at the $5 million level, so I'm going to have two boxes at the top, and then four, and then eight. But you could also use a table of gifts like this that says, well, look, that means I need this number of gifts at this level. We've identified a lot of folks. We've annotated this gift table. Could you fill in, or could you give it this level? And you might put this in a way that could then also be used as a solicitation tool. Some key questions, and I'm actually going to pause right there because there is also a question in the chat. Donor that had an issue or problem in the past that's outside of the office's control and how to use this information to develop a new ask, which is really one of the harder things that we do. Again, when you work at a university or at an independent school, yes, we have our automatic prospects. There's no question about it. We know exactly who our constituents are and why they should give to us. But at the same time, then you might have an issue. There might have been a problem. There might have been a time that wasn't great. And let me use this as an example where I think it's important for us to talk about DEIB and this because there are a lot of times where I've been able to work with donors that went to some of our schools that didn't have great experiences in the past. And there were these issues that were sustained. But we're not going to get there nowadays without those donors. We're not going to get to our campaign goals without those folks who came into our communities and maybe didn't feel like they were fully welcomed at that time. But we've got to absolutely go out to rebuild the relationships with our Black alumni, with our LGBTQ alumni, with our alumni who integrated school, integrated single-sex schools. We have to do that work, even though we know that their experiences maybe were difficult. We have to go and do that work. And the way to do it is to ask a lot of questions. You can't fix what happened in the past. There's no way that any of us could do that. You can't change the complications that maybe they dealt with or experienced as a student. But what you can do is listen. You can listen. You can tell them what's going on on campus now. And you can tell them where the climate is and how folks are navigating that. And I went to Georgetown University. We're not going to be successful as a fundraising university if we're not having conversations with the women who integrated the university in the 70s. We have to talk to them. We're not going to be successful at fundraising if we don't talk to the Black students who came into the university in the 80s, mostly, but also some in the 70s. We're not going to integrate the institution. We're not going to hit our fundraising goals without talking to LGBTQ students who maybe weren't out when they were there and had a tough time, or maybe were and had a tough time. We have to do that work. So that's where I would say, in many cases, we're the ambassadors of reconciliation for our schools as well. Let's lean into it. And once we do that work, I think we're going to get we will end up with some really, really great donors. That came up for us in our group. And I think something that we came up with was the idea that something that helps us get past that is to ask the donor, are you interested in making sure that that doesn't happen to the next person that comes up that looks like you, or that is your culture, whatever the issue is? Is looking to the future and see, how can we make sure that students that are coming after you don't have that same issue? Sure, yeah. And we know that, as fundraisers, we can't fix every problem on campus. But what we can do is give folks giving opportunities that suggest that we hear you and see you, and some other workshops I've done and something I've been leaning into has been on socioeconomic diversity at very expensive schools. We haven't been great at having the conversation around, what's it like for students and families who come into either independent schools or universities that are extremely expensive when they don't feel like they fully belong? And so what does that look like when we're re-engaging those folks and saying, yeah, now it's actually time for you to give us money? Now it's time for you to donate. And maybe you were on the payment plan and you barely made the tuition, or maybe you were on scholarship. But we're going to try to talk to you also about the importance of socioeconomic diversity, why we need an endowment, why we need a financial aid fund, whatever the thing is, that's going to provide the resources so that we have the student excellence that we need to maintain our rankings, our status. And then also to make sure that we're also doing the work to make sure that people belong and feel like they're integrated on campus. So it's a great question. We will never, as fundraisers, we will never not run into some challenge, an experience that a family's had that didn't land. It's always going to happen. We're dealing with humans. So it's going to happen. But we do have to, we're often on the front lines of it and we have to embrace that. Also, so some key questions here, and I'm happy to take any other questions as well. Written proposal or not, right? That's something that you ask for yourself. And sometimes if you're working with someone who's not an experienced fundraiser, I know a lot of university fundraisers are trying to have to wrangle the dean to come out with them. Maybe you start with a written proposal. Maybe there's some ways to get people in. Who's doing the scheduling? Who's coordinating the meeting time and the place? That's very important because you want to make sure that the timing is right and you want to make sure that the location is right. Will you solicit the gifts alone? Do you feel like you're better off with other staff? That's important. If you're on your own, do you like to be scripted or do you like to be informed? And I step back a little bit from that because I just told you to be scripted. But I also want to let you sort of think about that for yourself, right? Because there are some times when you're out as a donor and you're like, OK, this is my ass sentence, don't flub it. I don't want you to feel like that's going to actually be an impediment to you. Instead, maybe you just want to be super informed and you know exactly where you are in this conversation with this donor. You have all the information that you need. You know what you're asking for. You know the amount. And then you go in that way. So give yourself that leeway and give yourself the leeway if you're staffing and supporting people whom you're supporting in this. Make sure that you know where they are most comfortable. Are there any other questions? There's another one in the chat. But we also can unmute and ask. When someone is ready to be asked, is there a good timeline or amount of time you should have spoken to them? Yeah, it's hard to, that's a tough one to ask, to answer. I mean, I think that you have, some of this is an art and some of it's a science. When you're dealing with an independent school, on the independent school side, I think earlier the better. I think if you said that you think they might be ready, then they're probably ready. I really do believe that in the independent school world because I think too many folks wait. I think they wait unnecessarily. On the university level, I don't, I would say, I think give yourself a little bit more leeway with that. Don't rush into it. Make sure that you've reconnected, make sure you're reengaged and that the timing is right. But on the independent school side, I think people tend to over-rotate on waiting or that they're not ready, they're not ready. And I think they're usually wrong. I think they usually are ready. Feel free to unmute if you have a question too. We've got about 10 minutes. I have a question actually. Can you hear me? Yes. So we are an independent school, the British School in Tokyo, and we've just started an annual fund. We're raising, I'm trying to think, we're raising in the region of $250,000 a year after three years, which is great. But recently we've had a few appointments and we've had a few appointments but recently we've had a few approaches from potential large donors. Now, I'm kind of on my own. There's one woman who works as an accountant who works partly alongside me, but we haven't had time yet to really put together a big capital campaign. We know that's the next step. But next month we have a lunch with a philanthropist, a lady who's indicated that she's interested in making a donation. I'm just not sure. I also teach, I'm a normal teacher as well as this. I'm not sure how much time we have to put together the kind of glossy options that could really reel her into some vision. So would you have any advice on what to do? You're meeting a donor. She's indicated she's interested in making something like $150,000, $200,000 gift, but we don't have a ready-made glossy brochure of the facility that it might fund. How would you approach that? Yeah, of course. That's a great question. When you're in this, by the way, the staffing and all of that's gonna always be a challenge for a lot of schools. And I would say, don't feel like you've gotta be perfect at this. And partially, one of the things that's important is when you're inviting this conversation in, this person knows you're gonna ask for money. She knows you're asking them for money. She knows that she's being asked for money. So the invitation here is to come in at this early stage, to join us in this early stage as we are building this out. We're thinking about our capacity internal, our internal capacity to execute this campaign. We're thinking about the way in which we're gonna create our materials, the way we're going to approach families down the road. We haven't set all that up yet, but we do need a couple of early givers to join us in this initiative. And we'd love for you to be one of us. I think you wanna get into that. There's something really wonderful about being a donor at the early stages. And we can talk to her about her gifts, starting the momentum rolling for other gifts. Yeah. That's right. I think lean into that, embrace that. Don't feel embarrassed or bad about the fact that you don't have the glossy materials. Then she may not want the glossy materials, right? What she may want is to say, hey, this is an interesting place that's doing really incredible work. And by the way, in a fantastic section of Tokyo, congratulations, brava on that one. Great. It's a great school. And so let's build this together. Like this is a really neat place to be. And so I think that's a good spot to lead into. There may also be what I would say is literally even a capacity building grant. I might even say that as part of this solicitation. Would you consider a capacity building grant for us as we build out this capital campaign? I'm so new. I'm just clarifying what you mean. You mean to help us build a team, to help us develop the resource, to go forward and raise more. That's right. Yeah. The team, the materials, the branding, the consultant, the whatever the thing that you need to actually launch this in the way that you want to. You're gonna need some folks who come in early and help you out with that and who partner with you in the early stages. I think that's a great one. Great advice. Thank you so much. I'm just noting all this down. Thank you. And you have a note in the comment is to take the donor for a tour. You have some good, which is terrific. And sometimes just being in the space, being in a school, there's nothing quite like it, right? When you have the chance to come through a great school, I think donors really know how to, that's an engaging time. So if she hasn't been there and been on the tour, that's a terrific idea as well. Thank you so much. That's brilliant. Thank you. Any other questions? I think it's notable that that's another, as we're talking about the international schools market, similar to what Peter was saying, that we have to be able to embrace the fact that this might be new. And that's a really good thing, right? There's nothing bad about that. And something I've shared with international schools and communities with large international populations, stop demeaning your donors. Stop with the whole like, well, they're not American, so they don't understand this, or they don't get this because they're not from the American. Stop demeaning your donors. Embrace your donors. Most of us at places in the United States are training our donors up. We're teaching our donors too. So don't demean them, embrace that and teach them. Like join with them, partner with them. I think that occasionally international schools and schools with large international populations find that, use that language too often. And even universities and boarding schools that have large international populations. Don't go in with the negative. Don't bring that to them. Don't even bring that to your internal meetings. It's negative, it's too negative. This donor is a fledgling donor. This donor is a growing donor. That's the kind of language you need. Make it positive. Don't demean them, embrace that. Cricket's been, you've been in international schools. Can I just lean on you for a second as I, because what I just shared, I think, is something that I think holds back some universities and independent schools as they embrace international fundraising. Could you give a little bit of your take on that? No, I completely agree. And I think it's natural. I think that as advancement professionals, we spend a lot of time talking to colleagues and seeing how things are going in different programs or programs that are in different places on their journey. And so it's sort of easy to say the grass is greener. Like, oh, well, that school's been doing this longer or they have more Americans and those Americans have been asked for funds before or are more familiar with it. And I would just echo what David's saying and bringing the positive to it. Some of my most generous families that I've worked with, they'd never made gifts before. There's a great opportunity to actually work with a more international group. And you get to train them in your context. What's your community doing? Why are you raising funds? And you're inviting them to be part of that. And it's asking them, like, maybe, whether they're a fledgling donor from any country or living in any country, like, where have they given before and why? And if they haven't, you get to help them write that story. So I lean really heavily into that. You don't need the third-generation Andover graduate or the third-generation Yaley. You know, that's great with a family foundation, but they might not give. You don't know that. It can work against you. It can really work against you because their expectations are different. So this has been a really rich conversation. I hope everyone's enjoyed today. If you'd please join me in thanking David for sharing all of his expertise and hosting us today, I'd appreciate that. And with that, I hope that you'll come to our next installment of all of our case programming. You can check all that out on the website. All right, thank you again, David, and thank all of you for being here. Thank you so much.

David Smith

leadership gifts

philanthropy

educational institutions

inclusivity

donor levels

preparation

philanthropic advisor

investment language

personalized proposals

fundraising fears

donor readiness

international strategies